Monday, March 29, 2010

Learning To Sleep In The Middle Of The Bed


Right so... I've been single for about 4 months now and some aspects of the single life are fantastic and some are a little lackluster.

I can't say that I miss having to try and co-ordinate our schedules in order to spend some time together, shaving my legs regularly, and cooking for Mr T. I do miss having someone to talk to, having someone who 'gets' me and I really miss hearing a familiar voice on the other end of the phone. BUT... the most difficult part of being single for me is as follows...

... learning to sleep in the middle of the bed.

When I came to Limerick, before I met Mr T, I decided to stick with student accommodation for my first year in UL - hello single bed - and out of laziness I spent my second year in the same student village. I started seeing Mr T in November of that first year and he also had a very single bed in his accommodation. So we learned to snuggle - and I learned to sleep on my side, with my tummy held in, in fear of falling out of the bed if I dared to turn over in my sleep. In my third year I finally found the holy grail - a room with a double bed! I reveled in the new found space, I had a whole side of a bed to myself - and four months later I was back in a single bed - crap! In fact my next encounter with a double bed wasn't until I graduated and moved in with Mr T in Galway and I've never looked back since (I choose to just ignore the 3 months I spent in a box room in 'cardboard city' on starting the postgrad, it didn't really exist).

Even thought Mr T and I dated over distance for most of our relationship I still always slept on one side of the bed, I never had a fondness for one side over the other but I would always make sure to keep within my allocated space, two piles of pillows letting me know of the imaginary dividing line in the bed. Even when we broke up I still slept on my side of the bed for a few weeks.

One of the most definitive moments of being a single woman was when I realised that the whole bed was now mine. I got some new, very feminine, bed clothes, remade my bed and put all of the pillows into one pile at the head of the bed. I spent the entire day looking forward to going to sleep, having a ocean of bed all to me, being able to stretch out my legs without feeling like I was taking someones space.

I didn't sleep that night - I just felt strange. I felt a little lost in my bed, like I almost didn't recognise the space around me. Over the past few weeks I have slowly gotten used to having an entire bed to myself, and I now love the feeling of stretching out and not touching the edge of the mattress. I feel like a princess, with my own special, selfish place to hide away! My bed is now mine and for me alone, I don't want to share it at all.

What was the one moment that you realised that you were single, and how did you deal with it? Let me know readers.


  1. I had a very significant break-up in my early 20's. Moving across the bed is a huge moment. I had the immediate one when the one person I wanted to ring about my shit day (ie breaking up) was my now ex boyfriend.
    The first time I was with another guy really freaked me out, it took ages.

  2. Great post, Mags!

    I take over the entire bed anyway regardless of relationship status. Alan just has to deal with it!

  3. Thanks ladies. Haven't started playing the field just yet Ruth, kinda hesitant about it to be honest.

  4. Even when Doogle isn't here I always prefer to curl up with the duvet wrapped around me so I can be as warm as possible. But I'm a bit strange that way :P

    mmmmmmmmmmm warm

  5. I thought I was the only one who felt this. Great post!