Monday, March 19, 2012

First Date Drama

He's plucked up the courage to ask you out... finally... and now comes the dilemma of a First Date. Where to go? The only advice I can give you is don't go to the movies... just don't.

Going to see a film as your first date is probably one of the worst ideas in what will surely be a short relationship. I know that some of you wise women of the world are quietly nodding your heads as you read this and murmuring 'The movies, no chance to talk and get to know one another' or 'What a waste of several hours as you both stare front and centre'. While these are pretty valid reasons to not like visiting the picture house as first date territory they are not mine.

Just visualise everything for a moment... you're going to play the female lead in this particular production (apologies to my male readers, consider it just role play). You've fretted about what to wear, how to do your hair, how much perfume is too much, should you wear heels.. the usual. You've decided that jeans are casual but that your new top and shoes give it an 'edge'. Your hair is loose so that he can see how carefree you are. You're not wearing any rings so that he can hold your hand with ease. Ditto with forgoing lipstick - you want the end of date night kiss to be perfect and smudge free. You've let him pick the movie and agreed to share your popcorn. You still have butterflies in your tummy over the fact that you are actually on a date with this gorgeous man beside you.

And then the drama starts...

You find your seats in the darkened theatre, get comfortable, prop the oversized tub of popcorn between you and open the bag of Malteasers now so that you don't ruin a quiet moment in the movie with the rustling of sweet wrappers. You become incredibly aware that your date is actually sitting beside you. His hand is on the armrest. 

Should you reach out and hold his hand? 

Oh... He moved his hand... Maybe he doesn't want to hold hands... Wait he's moving his hand back... Does this mean he wants to hold my hand?... No wait he's just getting some popcorn... 

Should I try that corny trick of brushing off his hand as I reach for some popcorn at the exact same moment?... Dammit, too late. He's moved his hand away again... He's moving in his seat... Will he put his arm around me?... 

Oh Ryan Reynolds is so cute... I loved him in The Proposal... Should I make the first move in the hand holding situation?... I'm a modern woman, I can hold a man's hand first... His hands are in his lap now... I can't just reach into his lap... He'll think I'm only after one thing... 

God, why are my palms so sweaty?... Maybe I'll wait a few minutes and then hold his hand... Hold on! Why hasn't he tried to hold my hand?... 

This scenario has a shelf life that equals the length of the movie that you're watching. It's times like these that make a 2-3 hour epic movie a disaster to watch. Well... along with the fact that at some stage you're gonna have to miss some of the film because you really wanted to get the extra large coke and drank most of it before the trailers were over. 

The minefield of physical contact within the First Date territory is tough enough to deal with in a well lit room where you can see your opponent clearly. Throw in dimmed lighting, blinding special effects, a very expensive soundtrack and the fact that you have to constantly flick your eyes from the screen to him in case you miss his body language cues and you have an exhausting first date.       

Just not my cup of tea. Not at all.

Give me conversation, coffee and cake... any time. It just works... well as long as he likes conversation, coffee and cake too. I'd even settle for tea, toast and banter if he was cute enough, and had a pot of strawberry jam.

How about you? What tips can you offer for a first date idea? Have you ever gone on a disastrous first date? What happened?  


  1. i think long walks in the park make for a great icebreaking first date...i refuse to be taken to cinema or dinner...i get paranoid that real couples are judging our dinner convo..yes i'm weird like that

  2. @Blau - walks are always a good option... as long as the weather is co-operating. I really hate dinner though... It's a really long time to sit with someone if you're not really getting along with each other.

  3. A coffee date is perfect cos you can leave early if it's not working out or you can blend it into cheeky daytime pints if things are going well.
    I've always found daytime pints the best way to get to know someone, including friends, it has all the fun of going out with the pressure of getting ready and over thinking it, and it has the giddy spontaneous element too.

  4. @NiceDayDesigns - oh I like the idea of extending a good date into cheeky pints. Good call.