Tuesday, March 6, 2012

A Puddle Of Romance

Oh... it's raining outside! It sounds so lovely, sitting inside listening to the rain on the window. 

Wouldn't it be great to be curled up on a nice warm couch, with a steaming mug of tea and a lovely blanket... listening to that rain? 

Wouldn't it be amazing to be curled up in the above scenario, with a hunky man beside me? Wouldn't it be romantic? Isn't rain so romantic? 

A walk in the rain... that would be romantic too. With cute kisses... while the rain drops run down our faces. It would be just like a movie... like The Notebook, or Spiderman. 
Except that you're not Kirsten Dunst, and he is not Ryan Gosling. And kissing in the rain is not romantic. It's cold, and wet. It's definitely nothing like it looks in the movies. All both of you want to do is to get the hell inside. You want to find a towel to dry your hair before it manages to become stringy and frizzy at the same time. You want to make sure that your cheap mascara hasn't decided to run all down your cheeks and into your cleavage. He's trying to figure out how long it will take to dry out his new trainers and whether that funny sensation in his crotch is coming from your kiss, or the fact that his baggy jeans have been soaking up the contents of the puddle you were both standing in.  

Rain is only romantic to those who do not have to live with it. Irish people do not find rain to be a romantic prospect. It's usually cold, and accompanied by high winds. It turns your cute new umbrella inside out the first time you use it and usually breaks one of the spokes. It means that all of those new season suede shoes that you're lusting after are pointless unless you spend several nights and half your wallet waterproofing each pair. It means that you have to buy your jeans half an inch too short so that they don't soak up rain water every time you run to the shop for a quick takeaway coffee. Pretty hair do's? Don't. Silks and satins? Sacrilege. Dainty ballerina flats? Drenched. A large proportion of fashion? Pointless. All of your work planning the perfect outfit, the night before you know that you're going to run into that cute guy at college, can be ruined with a quick look out the window in the morning. Ok... what can I wear that doesn't touch the ground? That is pretty waterproof? And still looks good?

Bah... rain. 

There is nothing sexy about wearing a pair of wellies to work or college. Even if they're your favourite pair of sparkly festival wellies. Wellies are not cute, or sexy - EVER. Neither are umbrellas. Or rain coats. Or wet clothes that stick to you all day long. In fact you would have probably been better off staying at home and wallowing in the misery that you have just saved yourself. The prospect of rain is romantic. The Hollywood rain scene is romantic. But actual rain... never romantic.

It's weather like this that makes me glad to be single.


  1. Hear hear!! Great writing, as always :) Fiona x

  2. @Fiona - thanks :)here's hoping for some sunny singles weather.... the kind that is made for Sunday evening flirting in a crowded beer garden